Trophy Husband

The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots.

Some days I want to get personal on here and most of the time my head wins out, but today my heart won the battle. 
The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots. The Kentucky Gent in Trophy Husband T-Shirt, Topman Skinny Jeans, and Steve Madden Troopah Boots.

I ran across this shirt on my trip to Florida a few months ago and picked it up because I thought it was funny, nothing more, nothing less. After my adventures in dating over the last few months though, it’s made me think.

 I’m an incredibly emotional person. By incredibly, I mean very intensely. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I give 110% in whatever I’m doing. This oftentimes scares suitors off, and for a while I felt that was an issue with me. However over time I’ve realized that it’s not. When I find the man of my dreams he’ll love me for that emotional intensity. The same emotional intensity that’s run off more guys than I care to count.

 Being a 20-something I’m surrounded by friends that are either coupled up, married, getting married, or have a baby or two on the way. Basically, it’s safe to say that I’ve gotten the dating itch on more than one occasion. Several times I’ve wanted to date someone so badly that I’ve forced myself into a relationship. Sacrificing what I find important in a relationship? No big deal, as long as I can say I have a boyfriend, right? Constantly worrying due to this uneasy feeling in my stomach that I can’t seem to shake? No worries, I’m sure it’s just because I did something wrong, again.

 Sadly, it’s taken me awhile to realize that the thing I did wrong here was to settle. Not to settle down, but to settle for.

 I never settle for less than my best in every other area of my life except dating. I’ve been so hungry in the past to have a boyfriend, or any figment of a boyfriend that I’ve sacrificed my own needs in order to be “in a relationship.” I’ve slacked on my blogging, on running, on hanging out with my friends, for the sake of a relationship with someone who doesn’t give me the same effort.

 I give 110%, remember? It’s all or nothing for me, and lately I’ve realized that I’m completely ok with that. Because of that, I’ll make a great husband one day. One day, when I find “my puzzle piece” as my friend Lauren puts it.

So what’s a 20-something, gay, single male to do? Well, if you’re a fan of Queer As Folk I’m sure you think my life is reminiscent of Brian Kinney’s. Well, I’m happy to report that’s far from the truth. Admittedly I’m on Grindr, and I’ve received more crude and unsolicited photos and requests to suck my toes than I was thought possible. But I’m not logging on and asking a random stranger over to “watch tv” at a little past midnight.

I’ve had a handful of dates that have stemmed from guys that I’ve met on Grindr, and I’ve blocked far more than I’ve met. Sadly, no matter how much I say Louisville is a big city, it’s definitely one of the biggest small towns in the country, especially if you’re gay. It’s hard to meet a guy in Louisville. A lot of guys are still coming to terms with who they are, (we are a Southern state after all). I’ve been out since 14, and because of that I’ve grown incredibly comfortable in my skin; which apparently is quite intimidating. So I cling to Grindr with some hope that I’ll find a knight in shining armor. It’s something to do when I get bored, it’s something that knocks my self esteem down a few notches when I message someone and don’t get a reply, it’s something that’s influenced me to make bad decisions, but most of all it’s something that’s made me realize a lot about myself.

 My dating experience has made me realize that I’m worth more than a one-night stand. I’m worth more than being treated like a time-filler or a distraction. I’m worth more than someone who just tells me what I want to hear in order to get what he wants from me. I’m worth more than a series of disinterested or bad boyfriends; because at the end of the day all they’re doing is distracting me from letting Mr. Right walk into my life.

 In summation: dating is hard. Being gay in Kentucky makes dating even harder. Online hookup apps often lead to making bad decisions, increasing your chances of STD exposure, and ruining your self esteem. Not to mention they make it SO hard to actually hit on a person in real life. But never forget you’re worth it. You’re worth the wait, the pain, and the journey. You deserve to be happy, and the only way to be truly happy is not settling.

Stylishly Yours,

Josh Johnson

The Kentucky Gent

  • Raine

    Ok- I’m smiling, my eyes are watering and I’m jealous for who is going to be the luckiest guy ever someday. I love seeing the photos of you smiling, so your right- don’t settle for anything less and risk losing that. I can’t imagine how frustrating it is but your friend is right, it will all come together someday. I don’t even know you but I can say I wish I had you as a friend. The shirt is funny and love the perfectly worn in boots! Hugs from a crazy cat girl in NY.

    • Thank you SO much for the kind words and for reading today’s post. Means more than usual, since it’s right from the heart today.

  • <3

  • I’m sure you’ll find someone soon, Josh! Anyone who passes you up is stupid. Love this outfit & tee on you!

    • Thanks Grace! I really appreciate it. I’m glad you’ve found someone like Andrew. YOU deserve it! Gives me hope that I’ll find my one before I know it.

  • Michael Judson Pace

    Really well written, and something that ALL gay men in the dating game need to hear. You/We are so much more than a profile and some pics. Keep doing what you’re doing. PS: Nice fresh ink!! Looks great!

    • Thank you! Definitely felt like it was something that needed to be said/something I’ve been trying to wrap my head around getting into a post on here and finally figured out how to do it. Thanks to that random t-shirt, ;). PS: New ink is courtesy of the gal I tweeted you about. Check her out!

  • I love this! I’ve been following along for just around a month maybe and it’s nice to see your personality! I can’t imagine what it’s like there! All I can say is definitely DO NOT settle! Finding someone who really gets you and knows all your dark places and loves you despite all that is what everyone deserves! I hope you find it!

    • Thanks for being a new follower and for taking time to read/comment on this one. Means a lot since it’s coming from the heart today. I had a good friend of this read this post and say that it was like I was talking to her face to face, so you definitely saw my personality in today’s post. Glad it didn’t disappoint!

  • Billy

    ‘you’re worth waiting’ I like the way you say!

    I did on JackD before, and I gotta admit that it felt so great when you get a bunch of messages. And I’m that naive to believe went out with a guy then ‘go to his place for a little chat’. I regret it so damn much and I still feel bad about it now.

    What I want to say is, I have shut down and delate all that kinda apps. I finally realize there might be true love on online dating, but definitely not for me. I’m sure you’ll find someone nice, someone who know how to treat you right soon. I hope telling you my story makes you feel a little better. ‘you’re not alone, I’m not alone, either. We are alone together.’

    • It definitely did make me feel better, and I definitely appreciate you taking the time to tell your story here as well. Hopefully it made you feel a little lighter as well. Thanks for the kind words, I really appreciate it!

  • Tara

    Great article Josh! You are definitely worth the wait!

  • Freaking adorable post but with those brilliant tatts and awesome hair a no wonder guy want to do kinky strange things with you.

    Dating is like getting abs… a bunch on painful night followed my tears & ice cream. Have fun with it, enjoy being single learn yourself and keep getting out there. You’ll get him.

    http://www.anorexicescapades.com

  • Supra

    we all have traits that scare people off! i def had my share! but having followed you for just a month, i feel like i know you! you’re gorgeous, honest, fun, and seem to be passionate about all that you do, including your articles, the events you are a part of and of course this blog and your style, you basically can pull everythihg off! your passion is infectious and someone will count their lucky stars that they found and hold on so tight that they will never want to let you go! you’ll find him. just when you LEAST expect it! that shirt is AWESOME. you know that song nature boy? “….the greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return”….it is clear that you love and that so many love you!

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